December: Memories & Overdue Thanks

I cannot believe how quickly this year has passed.  I remember New Year's Eve like it was a week ago.  I remember what I wanted, where I was going and what I was becoming.  It's interesting how things change, isn't it?  Not necessarily fast or slow all the time, neither good nor bad, just the normal life.  I am grateful for this year.  2011 has been the most educational year of my life thus far!  I have learned much about myself, my desires for my future (husband, family, career, education, etc.), about music, love, heartache, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, true Charity, forgiveness, the list goes on and on...

I have many people to thank for these much-needed life lessons I received in 2011.  They are listed in no particular order, just as they come to mind...  Please don't be offended if you're not listed.  There has been MUCH to be grateful for this year therefore, unfortunately, I haven't the memory to dictate it all.

• My Heavenly Father: For teaching me the most perfect way to love.  My Big Daddy...  For wanting me now and always, exactly as I am, but helping me become who You need me to be. 
• My Savior, Jesus Christ:  For being my Mediator, my Advocate to the Father, my Brother and at times, my one and only source of peace.  For loving me first and foremost so I could come to love You.  Not perfectly, but I'm trying.
• The Comforter:  For being a faithful Companion in times when despair threatened to crush all faith and hope from my Soul.  For conveying the messages, love, peace and HOPE that I have so desperately needed.
• Alma the Younger:  For testifying and preaching in that little book...  All the time and effort you took to journal was not in vain.  It was for me.  I cannot wait for the day that I can meet you and thank you face-to-face for your choice words that have strengthened me.
•  My ceaselessly loving parents:  Simply, for loving me.  For calling me, texting me, emailing me, Supporting me in all of my decisions, and helping me figure out why I was making them.  For carrying me through times when decisions made were not mine...  For praying for me.  For Father's Blessings, for a sympathetic shoulder to cry on at 2:00 in the morning.  For how-to's on my car, my recipes and countless other things.  For being my parents.  I love you, always and forever.  
• The Babcock Family:  For being there when I needed family to run to.  For endless knowledge to my silly inquiries.  For being so ready and willing to welcome me into your home, even though I was an absolutely horrid house-guest.  For showing me why it is so important to read Scriptures and pray as a family.  For loving and accepting me as one of your own...  I love you, always and forever.
• The Greenwell Family:  For being imperfect!  :)  For being that family that feels so much like home, yet wonderfully get-away-esque.  For sending love, advice, comfort, acceptance and positivity through calls, texts, packages, letters, pictures and personal contact.  For acting silly with me, singing with me, crying with me, laughing with me and loving me constantly.  I love you, always and forever.
• Sheesh and Merv:  For showing me that Charity is truly the Pure Love of Christ.  Without love of and for Him, you cannot profess to have Charity, but in possessing those qualities, you do not profess it.  You just do it.  For welcoming me so warmly into your wonderful family, whom I love.  For wisdom, patience, laughter, good food and real enjoyment of life.  I will never be able to say thanks enough...  I hope to pay it forward.  I love you, always and forever.
• Nick Man and Nick Minoh:  You two made my year.  Seriously.  I have been truly and drastically blessed to know you both.  There are many things that I will never forget, for as long as I live, that are because of you -- my, now, intense obsession including but not limited to B.B. King, Simon & Garfunkel/Paul Simon, Tommy Emmanuel, James Taylor, Pat Metheny, John Denver, Eric Clapton, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, etc. etc. etc., my desire to not be "that" sister missionary (Ha!), a strong desire to know and love music as much as you both as well as teach and play it as proficiently, the list is almost endless.  I am grateful for your nearly perfect examples, your great love and friendship.  You are two of the greatest men I will ever know.  Thank you...
• Starshley:  I learned so much living with you!  What great times we had, Ash!  I am grateful for your example, love and never-ending charity.  You're one of the good ones, sweetie.  I'm so proud of everything you're doing.  I love you! 
• Sean Rathbone:  I am so glad that I met you in Bio and that coincidentally-or not...- we were in Institute together.  It was your friendship that got me through those difficult, lonely months, homie.  Seriously.  I don't know if you quite understand what a wonderful blessing you've been.  I'm sorry I haven't repaid that quite like I should have.  I owe you.  Maybe I'll come visit you in the M.I.  ;)
• Shenay Aguilar:  Where would I be without you?  Happy?  Probably not.  I thank Heavenly Father that He placed you in my life, because without you, I would probably be depressed and alone all the time.  You are an huge, huge blessing.  I'm glad we get along...  Glad that we can sit in bed and laugh all night, talk about nerdy things, watch chick flicks, act like COMPLETE and TOTAL idiots and be so comfortable around each other.  You are the example I've needed.  Thanks for being there for me, girl...  TOO MANY!!! 

I feel as though this is becoming long-winded.  There are many more I should thank, publicly even, but will do so at another time.  I can't explain the joy I feel at the end of this year.  I can't explain the intense sadness at the end of this year.  Another one gone by, wasted time, regrets.  BUT I will do better in 2012!  God is so good, guys...  He knows you, I PROMISE!  He knows every fear, every doubt, every pain, every prayer.  Everything.  He knows everything.  And even better, He wants you to know Him!  Isn't that just neat?  He LOVES you.  YOU.  Yes.  Say some thanks to the Big Man Upstairs, guys.  We owe Him everything.

Thanks for putting up with this silly blog... 

I'll be seeing you!

November: Month of L-O-V-E

WARNING: Forgive the length.  It's a whole month's-worth of fun events I wanted to blog about.  :)

So this chick is twenty years old.  :) Yes indeed, my birthday was the 10th and I am NO LONGER A TEENAGER!  (Thank HEAVEN for that... )  I had an absolutely lovely day going to classes, out to lunch with Sean (motorcycle man, read Bikes & Hikes ), making cookies at the apartment, hanging out with the roomies and later in the evening having a party at our apartment.  Newly-made friends in Logan attended and we played spoons, plastic knives ;), ate cookies and the cheese cake Tyla made (Mm...), and watched me fail at demolishing a Disney Princess pinata.  It was a blessed night.  :)  Got a radical necklace from the Marshall Islands (from Sean and his Marshallese family) and a framed picture of the Salt Lake Temple from Dell (my good friend and EQP aka. Elder's Quorum Prez).  It was lovely.

A few days after my birthday, I went out to check the mail and was surprised to find a key in the box...  It said that there was a parcel in the big box and to use the key to get it out.  It was addressed to ME!  :)

I felt so special!  :)

I was so excited to open it!  I grabbed one of the steak knives out of the knife block and oh-so-carefully started cutting.  After a minute I saw the tab that said "pull here to open".  ;)  This is what I found...

Bubble wrap!

It took a lot of patience to pause and take these pictures before ripping into this...  And I mean a LOT.

Package numero uno

This is what was in the first bubble-wrapped package.  Two packs of "Extra" gum (Orange Creamsicle and Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream), a little pen and notebook with a quote from the Holy Bible about Rejoicing in the Lord, a hand-made card full of wonderful and kind words, a hand-made "20" card with a 20 in it ($) and another hand-made card full of sweet words.  :)  *tear*  So kind!

Package numero dos

In the second bubble-wrapped package was this gorgeous piece of DIY art!  It's a wreath made out of buttons with a cute little red ribbon and the hand-written word "Joy".  On the back of the frame was the explanation that three of the buttons were from my great-grandmother's button collection and are "practically antiques!".  Isn't it gorgeous?!

Thinks of everything...

In with the framed button wreath were these three hand-made envelopes.  I had made a birthday card for the person who sent all of this to me and told her that I couldn't send it because it didn't fit in an envelope, so she sent me these templates and encouraged me to create some of my own.  Cute, huh?  She even made the PAPERCLIP adorable!

So I have to tell you about the woman who sent this to me...  Her name is Jessica and I love her very much!

This is forever old, but it's Jess and I.  :)

 She is one of the most positively influential people in my life and has always been there for me.  I owe her so much.  I owe her the happiness that I have in my life.  I owe her my family.  I am eternally indebted to her for her love, selflessness and charity.  She is truly one of the most amazing women on this good planet Earth.  I thank Heaven for her every day.  I was blessed to spend Thanksgiving Eve at her home [more on that to come later in this post :)]

Onto the next fun event!  I went to the Caine Chamber Ensemble concert at the USU Performance Hall on the 17th and BOY WAS IT AMAZING!  I realized (or remembered, to be more accurate) that night how in love I am with music.  BRASS is such an incredible sound.  I love french horn, trumpet, trombone, even tuba for pete's sake.  Also saxophone!  Oh buddy...  It should be called sexyphone.  ;)  Ha ha.  I am glad to be a student, because I get to attend these amazing concerts for free!  I go to every single one that I can.  They are very entertaining and professional.  I would highly recommend coming to USU music concerts!

That same day I got a facebook message from a good HS friend of mine that I hadn't seen in 2 years (served an LDS mission in New Mexico) saying that he was going on a double date the next day and his buddy's date bailed last minute.  I told him I would come down and go with this guy who was one of his companions on his mission.  So Friday, after surprising (or maybe not...) my biological dad in his Seminary class, I got changed and ready for this date.  I ended up being late to our meeting point, but it was okay, I think...  :P  Seeing Eric (HS friend) for the first time in two years was NUTS!  He worked really hard and lost a good amount of weight, so he LOOKED different, but everything else was exactly the same...  It's like he never left!  Hilarious. Sam (my blind date) was cool!  Very impressive.  He and I have many similar hobbies like singing, acting, etc.  He apparently has the voice of an angel.  He played Tommy in "Brigadoon", Cinderella's Prince in "Into the Woods" and the lead guy in "Damn Yankees" (I obviously don't know THAT one...).

ANYWAY.  I digress.  Frequently.  My apologies.  So after the drive down to SLC, we had dinner at SamPan (get the Pineapple Chicken or Pad Thai.  YUM AND A HALF!)  and then out to DANCE!  Shoot, it was fun!  It wasn't club dancing or anything, no no...  It was ballroom.  :)  Oh, and did I mention that they had been home 9 days by this time and Eric's date was a Sister missionary that got home the same time?  :P  Random fun bit.  Soooo, the first hour of dancing was the class.  A BYU Ballroom student was there and taught the Rumba.  The hour after that was the "party" where we used these newly learned skills.  I was a failure.  I cannot haven't learned how to dance.  I'll get it some day.  ;)  Anyway, it was SO MUCH FUN!  After dancing, we drove back to Ogden where I said goodbye and drove to SANDY!  :)

Going home was so wonderful!  I got to see my family for the first time since the end of August/beginning of September-ish.  Craziness.  Jocelyn Firefly (my niece, and YES, her middle name really is Firefly) is SO big, now!  She runs around, talks like everyone is dying to hear and loves hard. 

Yup...  That's her!

This was taken quite some time ago, but still her.  <3

Gorgeous, right?  So much fun...  Seeing her with my dad is absolutely adorable!  She has him wrapped around her little finger!  :)

Anyway, that Saturday I met up with some friends at Noodles & Co. and caught up with people I hadn't seen/spoken to in quite a long time.  It was cool to catch up!  In the evening I went and saw "Aida" at Hillcrest High School with my dad and neighbor Jeanne Green.  They did a great job.  It was quite the spectacle!  John O'Driscoll was at Noodles earlier and was texting me.  We wanted to hang out, so after the show he came and picked me up.  We got hot chocolate and talked in his car and later his basement for EVER.  Golly, it was quite some time.  I think I got home at like 2 or 3 a.m. ... something like that.  He's such a sweet guy.  I have a rough time believing most peoples' comments about my looks, but something about John makes me believe him when he says that I'm "a stone cold-fox and class-A hottie."  ;)  Ha ha.  Love you, kiddo.  Thanks for the fun times and great memories.

Sunday I went to Austin Johnson's farewell.  He's headed off to DEUTSCHLAND!  :)  (that's Germany in German...)  He will make one fabulous and faithful missionary!  I will miss him dearly, but am grateful for his constant example these few years that I have known him.  You're wonderful, Austin.  Thanks for being a great friend and beacon!

Monday I visited "dear old Jordan Hiiiiiiiiigh!" Golly-gee bob.  Brian is in HIGH SCHOOL!  It's crazy.  He's like, a full inch taller than me, hasn't hit a hundred pounds yet and is turning 16 in three weeks.  WOAH!  Makes me want to cry!  I remember holding him when he was a tiny (and I mean itty bitty) baby!  It was cool to see him in school.  I went and listened to him in choir with Peter Steenblik, who works miracles with little boys.  Turns them into men!  ;)  Seeing Vicki Rich and Rachel Hardy was wonderful as well.  I love those women dearly.  The three teachers mentioned are the reason I am going into Secondary Ed.  Thank Heaven for amazing HS teachers!  When I was on my way home I stopped at Subway to eat because I was sterved (in my mother's words) and ran into my aunt and uncle from St. George!  :)  What a happy occasion!

Serendipitous.  :)

 

I had choir practice with Lex de Azevedo's Millennium Choir Monday, Tuesday and Friday nights for "Gloria!" which opened the Lights at Temple Square on Saturday night.  It was so much fun.  Seeing people I sang with last year, singing again for the first time in a year!  Wow!  Moving and wonderful!  More on that later.

Wednesday I went out to dinner with my Grandma Daleann, Grandpa Corky and Jessica Greenwell (the same from the package story above).  We went to Mimi's Cafe, ate yummy food, and caught up.  Upon finishing we went over to Barnes & Noble where two of Jess's three kids were hanging out.  I ran into ANOTHER aunt and uncle there who I haven't seen in a long time and it was also serendipitous!  I didn't get pictures though.  :(  We all had fun at B&N laughing at books about farting and looking at creepy Tim Burton figurines such as Brie Girl (as in the cheese Brie.  Her head is a wheel of Brie... A very gross-looking wheel of Brie.) and Pin Cushion Boy (no explanation necessary).  After saying sweet goodbyes to grandma & grandpa, Ivy and I drove with Jess and Harrison following us to my home.  Grabbed my sleeping stuff and chit-chatted with the rents for a wee bit before jumping into the Greenwell van and having a SLEEPOVER at their home.  :)  It was so fun!  We made pies, played "Encore" (a very fun singing board game.  Play it!), made a 18-minute video journal (a nightly ritual of mine, usually 3-4 minutes), and cringed at watched Nick Jonas attempt at Marius in "Les Miserables".  After becoming very loopy we decided to go to bed, and seeing to the fact that we slept in the same bed, it was impossible for another half-an-hour, but nonetheless we got to bed at about 3 a.m.-ish as far as I remember.  :)  What a blast!

This was only the beginning of the loopy stage...

When we woke up that beautiful Thanksgiving morning we made wheat biscuits from scratch and had yummy "McMuffin" things (but MUCH healthier and yummier!), got ready for the day and packed up.  We took about twenty minutes for the family Christmas card picture [I feel so honored to be included  :)].  Getting home I helped mommy cook some pretty dang amazing food, we had a lovely dinner in my home with our immediate family and enjoyed the rest of the evening very much.  I loved that night!

Friday was my daddy's birthday!  I woke up and went with him to the Ream's in Draper to get him some new cowboy boots and MAN am I jealous!  I want to work in the boot dept. there...  They have some great stuff.  All them Wrangler's and stuff.  Yee haw!  ;)  We got home and had a lovely family breakfast and chilled most of the day.  I had "Gloria!" practice that night and we filmed it so we could see ourselves with the virtual choir.  They haven't posted it yet, but it'll be on YouTube and anyone who wasn't able to go to the concert will be able to check it out there.  I'll post a link on here when they get it on.  :)  It's TRULY incredible and inspiring music!

SATURDAY!  The 26th was the "Gloria!" performance!  :)  I was both excited and sad, excited because practices would be over and very sad because I don't know the next time I will see these people again, if I ever will.  *tear* I was at the dress rehearsal for three hours until we had an hour and a half to change and eat.  I met up with Sam (see blind date above) and we had wonderful Turkey-Avocado sandwiches from Toasters and freezed our buns off doing it outside on one of the fountains enjoying the view right next to the beautiful Salt Lake Temple. Some sister missionaries came up and we talked for a while.  I found out that one of them (Sister Steenblik) is Peter Steenblik's cousin!  He was in my top 3 favorite teachers I've ever had, taught choir in HS.  My parents and grandmother showed up and it was time for the show.  I don't know how to explain what it feels like to sing that music.  Lex de Azevedo is amazing and I am so blessed to be able to sing in his choir.  WOW!  Amazing.  If you ever get the opportunity to see a show with music by Lex, PLEASE SEE IT!  He is inspired.  After the concert we headed out and drove back to Sandy, dropped of the rents and gma and Sam & I hung out until about 2:30 am...  :P  Ha ha.  We had a blast.  I almost CHOKED TO DEATH because Sam was talking about face tacos.  Oh heck.  :)  What a great guy!  And I must say publicly that he is extremely handsome.  Yup!  Yet again, I digress...  ;)

Sunday was a nice day.  After church I went home, packed up and left.  Before I left, my mom and I had a sweet little goodbye.  I love that woman so much...  I am a better person because of her.  We hugged and said goodbye as we always have for as long as I can remember, when she responded to my "I love you, mom"  she got choked up.  We cried together for a minute, and I'm not exactly sure why.  It took me a minute of driving to get a grip.  Being away from home is difficult at times.  I miss my family often.  It makes me more grateful for them and their positive influence in my life.

I drove to West Valley to pick up my new charge.  Anthony, a 10-year old 6th grader.  Yup...  He's a genius.  I am a nanny now.  :)  It's so much fun!  We met for the first time that night and I have since lived in his home (in Logan, obviously) caring for him.  His dad works on an oil rig in North Dakota and is there for two weeks at a time.  I get a pretty sweet deal.  Two weeks working, two weeks free.  AND in January I will also be caring for a BRAND NEW BABY GIRL named Mina.  She isn't born yet.  :)  My friend Jessa is going to school in the Spring and needed a sitter soooo...  I said HECK YES!  It's wonderfully exciting!

Over the past week, I've been hanging out with Anthony, making caramels, going to an AMAZING Latin Jazz concert at USU (last night) with Anth and Sean.  It was the most wonderful night I've had all week!  :)  GAAAHH!!  Music makes my life so much better!  Music and friends.  :)

And as for today, I can FINALLY SHAVE!  :P  Ha ha ha ha.  I participated in No-Shave November.  Woooooot!  I'll post pics.  It's ridic!

Thank Heaven for November.  It has been a TRULY blessed month full of gratitude, love, family and friends.  God is good, people. God is good!  :)

I'll be seeing you...

Roommates & Recipes

Today, I am grateful for my sweet roommates.  I don't think any of them read this, but I feel as though I should express my gratitude for them.  :)

Shenay

In da middle.  :)

is an example of patience, positivity, love and humility.  She has some pretty rough challenges in her life, and they all seem to be happening around the same time, yet she faces them without fear and continues trucking on in the worst of situations.  She's always so willing to listen to my silly rants about music, love, health and whatever else I endlessly talk about.  She is so reliant on the Savior and knows that He has her best interest.  Such flawless faith...  I wish I were more like her!

 Lauren

On da left.  :)

is always a fun girl to talk with.  :)  She and I share some of the same passions in politics and certain opinions about life, love, movies, books, etc. and I have loved getting to know her little-by-little whilst living here and I look forward to getting to know her much more.  She was the first of my roommates that I met, and we stayed up for a long time my first night of being here just chatting.  She is so committed to her schooling and knows a lot of cool, useful information.  She is also very giving.  Of her time, her knowledge, her possessions and more.  I wish I were more like her!

Tyla

That's her.  :)

is like the glue around here.  She's the one who is always pulling us together to watch movies, suggesting fun things to do, inviting us to go places and most of all, encouraging positivity around the apartment.  She came to me today wanting me to understand that if I needed to talk about anything, especially regarding confusion in my love-life, she is here for me, offering support in very confusing times.  I wish I were more like her!

 I am so very lucky to be living with these sweet ladies.  Already in our short time I have come to appreciate them, and I can't wait to get to know and love them even more over the next while.

The Ladies of D102.  :)

 

Now, about this recipe...  This is a dish that I've seen often and enjoyed over the years, but have never really had the desire to make until now.  Tyla loves the stuff and seeing her make it a couple times made me want to.  I did the other day and MAN it is SO good.  I am NOT a casserole person.  AT ALL.  But I ate half of the dish at one sitting.  If you haven't tried it (or if you HAVE) I definitely recommend it.  It is extremely simple and very yummy.  :) 

Ritz and Poppy Seed Chicken Casserole

**Disclaimer**: I make this for one (myself) and it fits perfectly in a 15cm by 23cm Pyrex dish lasting me a few meals.  I THINK if you double it, it will fit perfectly in the standard 9" by 13" casserole dish which is better for families/larger groups.  

•  2-4 Chicken breasts, cooked (boiled is easiest) and shredded or cut into bite-size pieces
• 1 can Cream of Chicken Soup 
• 1 cup Sour Cream
• 2 tsp. Poppy Seeds (Leave out if you don't have floss...  Just adds texture)
• 1 roll "Ritz" crackers (I use the Walmart Great Value brand called "Buttery Rounds") crushed into crumbs
• 1/4 cup butter (unsalted if at all possible, soup & crackers=HIGH sodium!)

1.  Mix the Cream of Chicken soup and Sour Cream in a mixing bowl then add shredded or cut chicken and Poppy Seeds. 
2. In a large pan melt butter and add cracker crumbs, stir constantly making sure butter is incorporated throughout and toast until nicely golden.
3. Pour (or plop... :P) chicken mixture into baking dish (see disclaimer above for sizing) and cover evenly with toasted crumbs.
4. Bake at 350 F for 35 minutes.  

YUM AND A HALF!  :) 

 Next week I'm going to post my recipe for Rolls or Bread...  Which one??  I home-make my bread, because that NASTY store-bought stuff is, well... Nasty.  :)  In many ways.  My dinner rolls are equally amazing.  My roommates enjoy both.  Comment and let me know what you'd like to read about!  If you have recipes or stories about ANYTHING (I especially love stories about love, adoption, charity, The Gospel, happy religion, missionaries, food, MUSIC, etc.) please just contact me.  I'd love to read and help in any way that I can.  Remember to follow.  :)

 I'll be seeing you.  :)

ADVENTURE IS OUT THERE!

This has been an interesting week, with most of the events happening over this weekend.  On Tuesday there was a cool Relief Society activity on FOOD STORAGE!  I am obsessed with this whole "be prepared" deal and I am not prepared...  It's kind of scary, but that's what this thing was for.  It was also a potluck (always count on LDS Women to have food.  Always!)  I made this really yummy pumpkin dessert that my mom always makes in the Fall.  They're called Pumpkin Bars.  They're super easy and can be easily adapted to a food storage recipe.  Here it is.  :)

Pumpkin Bars/1989 Festival of Trees cookbook
29 oz can pumpkin (JUST pumpkin, not spiced)
3 T pumpkin pie spice mix
3 eggs
1 C sugar
1/2 t salt
1 t vanilla
1 C butter
1 C evaporated milk
1 yellow cake mix
walnuts or pecans (optional)

Mix all ingredients (except cake mix, butter and nuts) in a bowl well.  Pour into 9x13 pan.

Topping:
Sprinkle cake mix over pumpkin mixture in pan.  Pour the 1 C melted butter over cake mix. Sprinkle chopped nuts on top of cake mix and butter if desired.
Bake uncovered for 1 hour at 350

Soooo yummy.  :)  It smells like Heaven when it's cooking and it's served best straight out of the oven!  Make them, eat them, love them.  :)  Thanks for the recipe, mommy!  I sure love you.  :)


Wednesday was pretty good, Shenay and I sat around doing NOTHING all day aka. Shenay was on Pinterest and I was surfing random things on the net and we talked and laughed and BONDED.  ;)  She then proceeded to convince me to attend "Citrus & Sage".  Going was a LOT of fun.  I love music.  Almost more than anything else in the entire world!  Literally...  Hanging out with the chicks and Brayden was fun.  Listened to fabulous music, saw friends, went home and made crepes and watched "Pride & Prejudice" which is SERIOUSLY a miracle, because Shenay despises movies with the following attributes: "same-color lighting", accents, "different English".  All of these define a movie as "mel-AHN-kohly" (Megamind's version of melancholy) in her words.  And even better, she LIKED it!  What a fun night...  


Friday was pretty cool.  Hung out with a friend from Weber and went to a Stake Dance down there.  I dressed up as an 80's chick.  My hair was defined as being "as big as Africa" that night, and boy...  It was huge.  I'm sure I took a few adults back to the good ol' days.  

"Hey momma, welcome to the 80's!"

 

I wish you could see the whole outfit...  The heels made the deal.  ;)

 We ended up not getting back to Logan until after one, I got inside at about two...  OI!  Haven't stayed up that late in a llooooong time! 

SO ready to go to bed!!

 Saturday morning, I woke up crazy groggy but very excited because I had another motorcycle ride planned with Sean.  We met up in the morning all bundled up ready to hit the road...  or dirt.  :)  We went up Green Canyon again wanting to ride up the trail we hiked to get up to the lake, but we chickened out when it got too hard.  We ended up riding up to Mount Logan.  It was FREEZING!  On the way down, we almost crashed, it was SO funny!  I fell off the bike because I was laughing so hard.  I don't know why it was so funny, but it was...  Oh my.  :)  Getting back to the car was AWESOME because it was warm!  We sat in my car for a while to defrost.  It was nice.  :)  Then we left to get ready for Stake Conference!!  I was a few minutes late, but DANG!  President Woodland is called of God.  No doubt about it, man...  I could listen to that man speak for hours on end.  I love Church meetings!  I always walk out feeling like I could change the world.  After Stake Conference, I got ready for a Murder Mystery at a friend from the ward's home.  :)  It was a blast!  I should have taken a picture of my costume, because I was an old lady, and boy did I look it!!  Kinda elegant-ish.  :)  I liked it.  Ha ha.  It was an interesting evening...  I invited Sean to come and mostly everyone else there was in the ward, so it was easy to get to know and have fun with everyone.  It got a little awkward sometimes because the script was kinda weird.  :P  BUT it was great, nonetheless.  I was honored to end up being the MURDERER!!  And I was the only one who guessed myself.  :)  (no one knew who the murderer was until the very last minute of the night, not even the murderer)


SUNDAY...  Boy, today has been so wonderful.  And horrible.  :P  Ha ha.  I woke up with a slight headache, and knew it was because I've been dehydrated the past couple of days.  I drank some water, and figured it might go away.  Stake Conference today was incredible!  I love President Monson so much!  He is such a wonderful man!  I learned so much today from the testimonies of Sister Wixom, Elder Anderson and President Monson.  :)  My testimony has expanded a lot recently.  I love the Gospel!  I then attended Ward Choir, where my headache became more... intense.  After choir, I came back to the apartment to clean up before Shenay got back, but I could barely focus.  I ended up falling asleep for almost an hour and a half.  Naps rarely happen for me, and when I woke up I couldn't see straight.  After a while of nothing working, I ended up asking Tyla if any guy friends were coming over, because I desperately wanted a blessing.  She replied with no, and offered an Advil.  I, astonishingly, took it.  But not before I got sick.  Ugh.  Throwing up is the most horrific feeling in the entire world.  I would not wish it on my worst enemy.  BUT I was finally able to fall asleep again afterwards for about an hour, after which I woke up WITHOUT A HEADACHE!! :)  Yahoo!  Now I'm sitting here watching a movie with Shenay, blogging and eating pumpkin bars.  :)


Life is so good.  It's happy and difficult, challenging and rewarding.  I love living in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 


If you need anything, my sweet and few readers, I am always here...

I'll be seeing you.  :)




 

Bikes & Hikes

First of all, shout out to Jessica Greenwell and Grandma Rowley!  HAPPY BIRTHDAYS yesterday.  I love you two, very much.  :)  Second, I LOVE OCTOBER!  Fall is my favorite season.  I loved driving through Sardine Canyon everyday to go to work because the leaves were hundreds of shades of yellow, red, orange, green, brown, purple.  So very beautiful! 

I have been very lucky to meet a couple people up here at USU that I have quickly become good friends with.  I met this kid, Sean, in my Biology class and we chit-chatted a few times but weren't even really acquaintances.  I signed up for Institute (FINALLY) and it turns out he was in that class.  Lucky me!  (The Lord always provides the things/people you need in your life when you choose Him above other things!)  So at that point, we became pretty good friends.  He's my homeboy.  ;)  Ha ha.  He's from California so we always talk gangster...  Random explanation.  Anyway, he's pretty much the only person I hang out with up here other than my roommate and people in Church (sad, really because I've only hung out with him like... three times.  :P).  Friday was a bit of a rough day for me and I was alone at the apartment because everyone else went home for the weekend, so I decided to see if he wanted to hang out.  Of course being the good friend that he is, he told me to go riding with him (has a dirt bike he rides around on).  He's been trying to convince me to go with him for a while, but 1. all those other times he didn't have another helmet and 2. timing was never good when he asked 3. He's crashed and broken his hand, hurt his ankle, shoulder and who knows what else... Need I say more?  ;)  This time, I said heck yes!  He came over to the apartment, we ate and said a prayer, "PLEASE help us not die!" "I'm really grateful for this chance to go have fun!", and headed out. 

Now, I have ridden ATVs my whole life...  There are pictures of me where I am barely a year old riding around with my dad on our old Big Red 3-wheeler (I HATE that thing... *shudders*).  I ride 4-wheelers (aka "quads") often and LOVE the thrill of it, but I have never, to my remembrance, been on a motorcycle.  To be honest, I've always wanted one, and since I moved up to Logan, this whole car dealio has been a bit of a nuisance.  I wish I just had a scooter or bike to save gas.  I digress...  As usual.  I was a little nervous really excited to get out, get on a bike and spend some off-road time wit ma homes.  He took it easy on the road because he's terrified of cops he was helping me ease into the whole experience, but as soon as the pavement ended, he hit it.  MAN!  It was so much fun!!  We went up Green Canyon and it was so beautiful!

These pics were taken with my phone=not great quality

It was probably a 20 minute ride up then we parked, stretched and went on a little hike at the trail-head.  The hike was fun and really pretty.  We just talked about life and riding, crashing experiences, snotty people from Bountiful ;) and that we were afraid of being eated by bears.  So we ran.  :)  I love running, just fyi.

I love that little patch of orange!

Got back to the bike and rode off toward the pink horizon...  UNTIL we saw this radical cave!  We stopped and hiked up to it.  The view was incredible!  Both of us commented that looking at the mountain and trees was trippy.  We don't know why or how...  :P

I'm kinda sad this is blurry... The picture doesn't do the view justice.

Anyway, got back on the bike, hauled down and came back to my apartment where we made NO-BAKE COOKIES.  :)  Mmmmm...  No Bakes.  My favorite.  Showed each other good music and watched "The Guardian".  Then he left and got pulled over...  HA ha.  :)  No ticket though, so that's cool

Aaaannnyway, it was tons of fun and I'm going to get a bike.  Soon.  I want one BAD!

I'll be seeing you.  :)

Learning to Trust

It has been quite the past few weeks in the life of Alex, man...  I have been relying on no one but myself.  I THOUGHT I was allowing the Savior to help me.  I wasn't.  I have been thrown into the fire of affliction in a few ways.  Sound scary?  Yeah.  It is!  But it's cooling down and I am being molded into a brighter, more confident and committed Daughter.  I went and spoke with my Institute teacher, Brother Harding, last Friday and he gave me so much incredible insight that has allowed me to make decisions that have affected my "right now" happiness and the happiness I will choose to have in my future life.  I am slowly becoming better at interpreting the Spirit and His language so that I can better do what is best for myself.  I am SO GRATEFUL for The Comforter, The Spirit of God, The Holy Ghost...  He directs me in the Lord's way. 

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the sill waters.  He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil..."

I fear no more.  I have courage, faith, obedience and,  just like you , the Love of Jesus Christ!

I'll be seeing you!

I Seek After This Thing

Have you ever wanted something so bad and you feel like it is exactly what you should be doing, and nearly everything in your life points to it?  Have you gotten it?  I feel like that in my life, and yet, while I feel like I did/am doing what I can and need to do to attain it, it evades me.

More than anything in my life, I want to be a wife and a mother.

More than anything. 

Not just to anyone, of course, but I won't mention him by name for a few reasons.  I understand that I am "young" (20 in 3 weeks for those of you who don't know).  I understand that I "have time".  I have heard those phrases a kajillion times, but usually from people who don't really care/matter.  I can't help feeling that what would have happened was meant to.  Alas, I cannot make decisions for other people and things change.  I find myself preparing daily for being that woman I want to be.  I cannot wait to teach my children about the things I am learning.  I cannot wait to spend evenings with my husband hashing out bills, careers, children, school.  I cannot wait to keep the commandments of God.

"Marriage offers fulfillment all the way through life—in youth and young love, the wedding and on the honeymoon, with the coming of little children and the nurturing of them. Then come the golden years when young ones leave the nest to build one of their own. The cycle then repeats itself, as God has decreed it should."

Gaaah...  I don't know if I really like it being on my mind all the time. Yet, as I think about it, right now, even though I think I'm ready to take such a huge step, I CAN wait.  I just wish things didn't end.  I'm not even heartbroken, I just wish I still had that companion. 

I am TRULY grateful for the Refiner's Fire, though.  I am slowly, step-by-step, becoming someone who I want to be.   I have been brought down to be built up grander than I was before.  My sweet and beautiful friend Allie sent me an email that was such a great strength.  She said, 

"When President Monson announced that they're making the Provo Tabernacle into a Temple, my understanding was opened to a beautiful new truth. We were the last people to ever sing in the Provo Tabernacle, and it was really confusing for a lot of people to understand why the tabernacle burned down, because we knew that the Lord could have easily stopped that fire. But my choir director said that there is obviously a reason why it burned down that we may never know. Then when the Prophet made that announcement, everything made sense! He needed to burn that down to make it into a Temple.... a TEMPLE!! The one place on earth where God can physically dwell, the one place on earth that binds us to Him and our eternal companions for all eternity. But the amazing thing is is that we can think of ourselves in the exact same way: sometimes our Heavenly Father has to burn us down to almost nothing and sometimes we may not know why He's doing it. But He always knows why! If we let Him burn us down and re-construct us, He WILL turn us into something so much more divine, beautiful and eternal than we ever thought possible! He can turn Tabernacles into Temples! The Lord ONLY upgrades!" (italics added)

I love that analogy!  Not only because it gives hope, but because I am actually seeing it in my own life!  I am so grateful for the NEVER ENDING LOVE of my Older Brother, Jesus Christ and His Atonement.  I am grateful for ancient and modern-day scriptures that lead and guide my life and enable me to be the happiest I ever could be.  I love knowing that I am doing what I can to make myself, others and my Savior happy.

Thanks for reading, pretty soon here, I won't whine as much.  I promise.  :)

I'll be seeing you... 

"Where Do I Go From Here?"

Warning: Since I want to whine and this is my blog, I'm going to. You're entitled to skip to the second paragraph if you wish to fore-go the "I'm currently unhappy with the path I am currently on" sob story.

So, there has been a lot on my mind lately about where my life is headed, what kind of person I am and who I am trying to become. I feel like I'm stuck in this mundane rut. I'm unemployed (my last day of work at the Bank of Utah in Ogden was last Friday), I'm single, I'm not a mom (I know I'm young, chill), I don't have a calling in my ward, I'm leaning more towards the "undeclared" major AGAIN, I am consistently and profoundly confused about a topic that continues to be on my mind/in my prayers, I'm not a good friend... This list could almost go on forever. The phrase "when it rains, it pours" has never been so applicable to my life. I definitely know I'm not the only one that feels like everything going well in their life falls apart all at the same time. I just don't know what to do. Where do I go from here? What do I do with all of these memories that come multiple times daily? What am I going to do without a job, with rent and tuition to pay? What am I going to study in school if I feel like I can't do what I really want to because 1. it's not practical and 2. I'll be in the music building ALL the time with him? I see a car that even looks similar to a silver Honda Accord and it feels like my stomach is going to fall out of my butt and I'm going to puke up my heart. No joke, it really feels like that. I don't even want to think about actually running into him. I've never had a break up this hard. Obviously. I've never had so many things to be nit-picky about. I've never felt so useless and almost worthless. Not worthless. Sort of. To some people. Maybe just a waste of time. Yeah, that's it. I feel like a big, giant blob of wasted time that could have been spent on something good. Something divine. Something Eternal. "There was a time when when men were kind, and their voices were soft, and their words inviting. There was a time when love was blind, and the world was a song, and the song was exciting, there was a time... Then it all went wrong." Man, if I didn't have the Gospel, I'm sure I'd be really depressed right now. I'm just... disappointed. I'm not around to witness the growing of my only niece, to check out my little brother for lunch in his first year of high school (Yeah, Brian is at Jordan. HOLY CATS!), wah wah wah. I'm getting sick of being so pessimistic. Look at me! I feel as though this is out of my character. I HOPE so! If not, I'm one pathetic creature.

MOVING ON! I'm trying to figure out how often I'm going to post an entry on this dealio. Daily? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Monthly? Randomly? Knowing myself, it'll most likely be randomly. Aaannyway, pretty recently I found out that I am singing in Lex de Azevedo's "GLORIA! The Life of Christ" at the end of November. We're singing it for the turning on of the Lights at Temple Square! :) YAY! It's going to be so wonderfully wonderful to sing that glorious music again and be in a CHOIR! I am excited! I haven't really been singing. At all. Okay, I do when I'm at church, and in my car, but that's pretty much it. OH! Other than today! :) I was all alone in the apartment for a long time and I totally belted for like, half an hour. SO MUCH FUN!! Back to "GLORIA!" You can get tickets by clicking here. It is going to be a TRULY incredible evening. I love music. I love talking about music. I love talking about music with my sweet roommate, Shenay. :) We do it often, seeing to the fact that we are both music majors (for now... :P). She is such a darling girl! A wonderful example, a happy-go-lucky chick. Positive through the roughest of times, she is. I consider myself very lucky to be having such a great shared room first experience. I don't know if she can say the same... :-S I'll work on that! We were just talking about dreams, among many things, and I am determined to teach myself to lucid dream. I BELIEVE I CAN LUCID DREAM BECAUSE I WANT TO :) (Some site says that you have to believe you can and really want it. I've got it, man). I am also determined to write my missionary friends, for Pete's sake!! I'm REALLY sorry, boys... I'm a terrible time-scheduler. Elder Diaz (Alex) and I are finally corresponding! Golly, I feel like the worst friend in the world. His mission is like 1/4 of the way done and we're just barely getting in touch. He's doing well, though. :) As far as I know, all the missionaries that I know are doing well wherever they are. Many are coming home very quickly which is exciting. I want to go on a mission. I don't know if it's going to be when I am 21 or when I go with my husband, but I am anxious for it, either way. It makes me nervous though, because many of the young men that I've spoken to about sister missionaries are... well, they strongly dislike them. :P Ha ha. The majority of them, at least. They love to make fun of them, which I guess is okay. "Junior Comp for life." ;) I really need to go to bed, I have a long day ahead.

Sorry for the whininess at the beginning... Shame on me for wasting my own life. This life is a GIFT. I accepted it, unwrapped it, played with it for 5 minutes and then buried it under triviality in the bottom drawer of my ignorance.

GOD LOVES YOU! :) I'll be seeing you.

Documenting and Declaring

So, it's been quite some time since I've posted anything on here, and I thought that it might be a good idea to keep this up. I decided a long time ago that facebook was getting dangerous and time consuming. I didn't really do anything about it. About a month ago I stopped getting on as frequently and I don't "update my status" anymore. It's been interesting to see how different life is! You wouldn't think that something as little as that would make a big difference, but it does. I think from now on, I will only be on facebook to keep in contact with those who I cannot contact otherwise. Plus, I have to let people know I've blogged SOMEHOW. :) Anyway, on a similar topic, I have edited my blog and deleted many of my former posts seeing to the fact that they are distracting from what I want this blog to be from now on. I had a couple posts that were mainly journal entries because no one really gets on here and reads my entries. There were many things pertaining to a young man that I recently stopped dating, and there are still a few things left on here about he and I that I felt were okay. Sorry if they're mushy. I liked him a lot. :) Onward and upward.

I heard today about this "Mormonism is a cult" deal and got quite frustrated. I've gotten over the frustration since, and have moved onto confusion. My dear friends, if you have any question or doubt about whether members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are Christians, I have a few propositions for you. 1. Read the title of the church again. "The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints". 2. Read the Book of Mormon. The title is "The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of JESUS CHRIST", wherein there is hardly a page that does not reference Him and His glorious works. It was NOT WRITTEN BY Joseph Smith Jr. It was merely TRANSLATED by him through the power of God from ancient texts written by Prophets before and after Christ's time on Earth (much like the Bible). 3. Speak with active members who live and love the teachings of the Gospel. (if you don't know any members, you can visit mormon.org and lds.org or speak to me!) 4. Seek the Truth out for yourself. Now, for you members, PROCLAIM YOUR TESTIMONIES! Let's use this seemingly negative publicity and turn it into missionary opportunities! :)

I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I love trying my best to live its teachings. I am grateful for modern-day revelation, Temple work, scriptures and my Savior's Atonement. It's so simple and logical. Realistic. REAL. I know it is true. :)

"One of those" days

It has been two months to they very day, nearly the hour, since I have seen Nick. Wow. TWO FRIGGIN MONTHS. I miss him so much. Literally, my heart aches. I've had a yucky past few days, and it's been so difficult not having him here to just hug me and whisper in my ear those six comforting words that everyone just needs to hear sometimes... "Everything is going to be okay." And I know it will be, things aren't even THAT hard. I'm just on a hormonal roller-coaster. Oh the joys of baby-making capability. I keep saying, "I want a hysterectomy." I now understand why they call it that... By the time you finally get one, you're hysterical. Get it...? I am so grateful for the gospel in times like this. MAN, things would be REALLY sticky if I didn't know that the Lord loves me, knows me and wants me to be happy and successful more than anything else, more than anyONE else. I love my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know it is the true church of Jesus Christ. I know God loves me. I know He loves you. I promise...

The joys and difficulties of life...

It's 2.30am. I should have been in bed about 4 hours ago, but I'm in Sandy this weekend, so that's basically impossible. I came down because it's my womb-friend's baby shower tomorrow. I cannot explain how weird that is... Since the week I got home from the hospital, we've been super tight. She's only seven months older than me, but it has always seemed like she's been at least a two years ahead, and it's really weird to think about. We are at the beginning ages of marriage and babies. AAHH!!! What the heck is that about?! All of my guy friends are on missions. All of my girl friends are getting married/pregnant/out of state attending college. It is truly a surreal experience for me. I keep hearing "you're young, have fun. Enjoy life right now, this is the best part", but I absolutely refuse to believe that because I feel like the best parts of my life won't come for DECADES. Yes, I am young. I certainly know that... But I feel like I should be ten years older than I am, even though it's odd to me that I'm turning 20 this year. TWENTY! I can say "Oh, ten years ago blah blah blah" and it won't be completely disregarded because of my youth. HOLY CRAP! Looking back on nearly twenty years of life, I am very pleased in few ways and VERY disappointed in most other ways of how I've lived my life. I've wasted so much time being sad. Mad. Jealous. Inconsiderate. LAZY. Worried. I'm listening to the audiobook "Tuesdays with Morrie" at work right now, and today's chapters spoke very deeply to me.

"Detachment does not mean you don't let the experience penetrate you. On the contrary, you let it penetrate it you fully. That's how you are able to leave it. Take any emotion, if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them - you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only you can say, "All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment." - Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom - READ IT!!!

I have been lingering on these negative feelings instead of detaching myself from them as soon as I recognize I'm having them.

On a lighter note! :) Nick, I would like you to know, you are my knight on a white horse. In shining armor. (Not the horse, you) I look up to you in everything and I am so grateful for the example you are to me. I love studying with you over the phone, I love going out to get food with you and seeing you say a little prayer before you eat, WITHOUT FAIL every time, I love when you talk to me about your mission and all the wonderful people you were able to teach, I love when you offer to drive all the way down to Ogden, from LOGAN, at 10.00pm to give me a blessing because my mouth hurts, I love that we go to the Temple together. :) LoLoLaLings. Xoxo

I feel so bad for Nick!

Poor guy had surgery on his nose and he can't breathe. Please keep him in your prayers. Seeing him on Percoset is really funny though. :) Ah ha ha.